A universal secret that allows you to permanently maintain happiness in family life does not exist. Marriage is in any case very difficult and not at all rosy, even if two people are very much indifferent to each other.
It is worth highlighting some points that you may not like at all, but it should be borne in mind that they very well help maintain the marriage.
10. Love and passion will someday disappear, love easily grows into a habit
The feeling of first love is beautiful. During this period, feelings are seething, the negative qualities of the partner are not striking, I absolutely do not want to get out of bed.
Falling in love inspires people to bold deeds, feats, and sometimes to very big stupid things. However, it should be borne in mind that it does not last forever, even if a person is a real soul mate.
For some, this becomes a very big shock, but you need to accept this fact if you are aimed not only at romance and fairy tales, but also at creating a family.
Permanent passion in marriage is simply impossible: sooner or later a person “burns out”.
9. In intimate relationships, sooner or later a decline
Do not worry if you understand that you are not so attracted to a partner as at the very beginning of a relationship. From the media and society, people constantly hear that a decrease in sexual desire in marriage necessarily means the end is nearing, but this is not always the case.
What is normal in youth, in adulthood can completely change: many people in their 40s are more interested in a good rest after a hard day, rather than African passions.
You should beware only if the partner has completely ceased to be attractive to you and even began to cause disgust.
8. Without common interests, marriage can fall apart
Falling in love is, of course, good, but you can’t only build a lasting marriage on it.
It is also wrong to get married and get married only in order to “make a nest”: give birth to children, raise them together. After some time, you can understand that you are simply bored together, and then no outbursts of passion, sons and daughters will save the situation.
There should also be general topics for conversation, some interests that can be discussed for a long time.
Unfortunately, for many families in Russia, such a situation is quite common when a wife leafs through fashion magazines in her free time, her husband watches football, and they don’t even know what to talk about with each other.
7. Relationships won’t last long without shaking
The decline of passions in marriage is inevitable, but this does not mean at all that the relationship does not need periodic shakes. On the contrary, if these shocks are not there, it is very likely that the marriage will fall apart.
Of course, this does not mean cheating (although some may shake things up just like that), but slight flirting, as well as periodic clarifications of relationships, are quite acceptable.
Try to adhere to the golden mean: do not turn family life into a storm, but it should not become a swamp. Emotional nourishment needed.
6. Love without respect will not last long
Many women are very fond of regularly “sawing” their husbands and believe that everyone does this, and therefore this behavior is absolutely normal.
However, it should be borne in mind that this is simply a manifestation of disrespect for the partner. If a person has self-esteem, he will not endure insults for a long time, even if he loves his soul mate very much.
You can convey your opinion to your husband or wife quite peacefully, showing respect. Bad manners, quarrelsomeness did not strengthen a single marriage, on the contrary, they very quickly kill confidence and destroy relationships.
5. Lies destroy the family
Strong relationships cannot be built on lies, although for some reason many people think differently. It is especially difficult when a spouse learns about a lie after many years of marriage.
Minor omissions in a marriage can even be useful, but you should not consider frank lies as harmless little tricks.
Especially bad when the tendency to lie grows into a habit. Most often, a lie nevertheless emerges to the surface and leads to major scandals in the family.
4. Marriage cannot be saved if you carry everything in yourself
In family life, you can’t be offended for a long time and keep silent about everything, otherwise after a while a real emotional explosion will surely happen, from which the other half will simply be in shock.
If such breakdowns are repeated regularly, it is very likely that this will eventually lead to a protracted divorce.
The problems that have arisen must be discussed immediately, without waiting for the explosion that destroys everything in its path. Just take the time when both of you are as balanced as possible, and try to talk calmly, without tantrums.
3. Having a baby changes everything
After the birth of a child, a familiar life will become completely different, and you need to be mentally prepared for this. Young parents live in constant stress, and many simply can not stand it and begin to break down on each other.
Do not forget that such breakdowns worsen the relationship. Learn to overcome difficulties together, to show attention to each other in the most different trifles and to control your emotions.
2. Hating your spouse is normal
Romantics can be very surprised, but in some cases, hatred of a partner allows you to maintain a relationship. If the marriage is all chocolate and cloying - it can start to feel sick.
If from time to time you feel hatred for your beloved because of his inaction or any act, there is nothing wrong with that. It is much worse if the partner is completely indifferent to you.
1. Marriage will not solve your problems
Some marry in spite of someone, wanting to improve their financial situation, dreaming of shifting all the worries to a partner and so on.
However, it should be borne in mind that such families usually quickly break up: after a while, a person realizes that he can solve his problems only on his own.
It is foolish to relieve yourself of responsibility for your life, because it will still lie only on you.